My mum was concerned that she had groin strain yesterday morning, along with it a sense of hilarity descended on the house.
I know it's not fair to laugh when you're mother; the woman who surprisingly enough went through the process of childbirth without using any help and didn't complain once - i wouldn't know, i wasn't there for most of it; but of course, when she comes out with the statement she has ripped a muscle most commonly achieved by footballers and athletes you can't help laugh a little bit.
She was trawling through her medical book, demanding that i look it up on the internet to prove it, i can't say i'm sure of how she managed to strain her groin from picking up the paper and wandering around until 11am in her dressing gown, but that was put to rest when she also declared she had bunions and everyone must look at her feet immediately.
This all began when she felt a spasm in her groin that caused her a moment of discomfort would be my assumption, i could be incorrect but it would be wrong to deny me my opinion.

We ended up going on Diagnoseme.com, it's the most comprehensive quiz i have yet to take in my entire life and i do plenty of myspace quizzes; so with mum standing behind me barking out answers and screeched when i clicked on low tolerance to other people and alcohol, she agreed that her anus does itch occassionally though... we haven't finished the quiz yet but with any luck there'll probably be something more horrendous than any of us could ever have imagine wrong with her.
It might take a week to complete but i'm willing to go the whole hog just so we can discover what is truly wrong with my mum.

My point?
Getting there.
When my mum has a cold, it's the flu.
When my mum has a headache it's a migraine.
When my mum is dizzy it's a week in bed.
When my mum has a chill its chilblains.
When my mum has a pain it cannot compare to any pain in the world, it is excruciating, usually unbearable, no one could possibly comprehend it apart from her.
When my dad was diagnosed with a possible case of Legionnaires syndrome it was alarming when my mother was concerned she might have contracted it.
There is a pattern i assure you; or am i insulting your intelligence by assuming you can't see it. it's so blindingly obvious to me my mother is a hypochondriac that sometimes this theory is lost on others.

Back to the point!
If we are looking at the old revenge tragedys or any tragedy of old, then the hero will always find they have a fatal flaw which will impede their trials considerably ,just because, well, they have issues or can just be plain wankers in my opinion.
Maybe that is my mum's fatal flaw; her insistence on illnesses that can be quite disturbing. It could be something else. Not the fact she was/is a nurse and always consults her medical book when something is wrong. I think it would be an insult to her to leave out her general vendetta against 'common people', much unlike pulp she does not want to live like them, or be with them, or be assosciated with them, yet she is one.
i'm not going to go into great detail about it, but this can be all traced back to her upbringing; my grandfather sent her to elecution lessons when she failed to talked properly in her youth. (i don't think it worked when she swears loudly and frequently, but she has an admirable phone voice so it must have on some levels.) Scenarios like this must have impressed some ideals and fears and flaws into her, i believe instead of the word impressed, pounded would be more suitable but i wouldn't know.Grandad is a wonderfully delightful man but always gives hugs that are on the wrong side of bonecrushing and smells of goats and codliver oil, he doesn't show any signs of being a tyrant but he must have been...

So my other point would be, we are doomed to contract our flaws in life from our parents it would seem.
I don't know why but from my parents i can't seem to determine my own fatal flaw, everyone has them and i'm not going to say i am flawless as i most certainly am not, but which out of the plethora of insignificant flaws is the fatal one? It should be the one that sticks out the most out of the bunch, but none do really, i do plenty of things that can be traced back to many of my, i'll admit it, quite amusing, flaws. That's just me though, i think they are quite funny.

Yes, we've come to the part of this seemingly endless essay, where i talk about myself.
I have no idea how the world sees me sometimes, most times; and a good percentage of the time i don't really want to know; i don't care, or just don't want to care.
This, i suppose can make it hard to decide where the fatal flaw lies as i don't wish to know what people think of me.
Alright we'll start with my ocassional skittish behaviour.
It's not a bad flaw but it is one i've come to notice.My funny one. This can apply to more than one of it's meanings, i can be shy and coy and also restless and nervous, but the main flaw i am looking at is the latter.
It's not an extreme aspect of my character but living in this house; it's hard to be alone for a moment, a minute, without pricking your ears to ensure there are no raised voices. I could be called upon to run a bath for my mother, put the washing on, i could have done something wrong and may be summoned to be yelled at even though the likelihood is it's not worth screaming about, there could be raised voices as the family engage in a new argument, a new lively debate, a new excuse to shout and berate eachother whilst the neighbours sigh and stuff their ears with cotton wool balls; i'll assume this because of the paper thin walls we share with them.

It kind of brings upon you a weird sense of a twitch, i can't listen to loud music in my ears at home, or anywhere, because i keep fearing i'll not hear something important, especially if the parents are having an argument, if i miss that i wouldn't forgive myself. It's interesting to listen to, i always duck down and listen at the door and find myself laughing at their heated attacks on one another. and notice when they can't blame eachother (they never blame themselves) they blame the girls, so me and my sister are rallied up to be yelled at some more.
I don't like that bit but as long as the argument steers away from us it's normally quite humorous.
This leads to many other flaws.
For example, i don't like to know what other people think of me, as my parents have a low opinion of me and i can't say anything heartfelt to them without it being thrown away casually with a laugh from them, or a harsh comment about how mum's life is worse, much worse. This is one of the reasons why i detest talking about feelings which i've already explored as something i'll just have to live with over the years.
A flaw for some, a flaw for me, i can't talk about feelings but can't stand empty silences so find myself talking about the most mundane things; everyone knows everything about my family, they are easy to talk about but no one really cares that much. Or trees if i'm floundering.
Another flaw stemmed from my skittish behaviour would be the constant need to be completely aware of my surroundings, when i'm walking along a street everything must be examined; all must be taken into account, and i can never step on a line or a crack in case i break my spine or back, all i examine, except for people, i can't look at them.
If really stressed or upset, i must have a plan laid out in my mind calculated to the minute which i must follow or face certain death; or so my mind plays it out to me, i don't follow it oblivion follows. These plans of attack calm me down, but if they are disturbed by an eruption of another argument, or any outer influences, it can send me quite literally to the brink of whatever sanity i believe to have; or i just cry.
Most flaws can be stemmed from my family life so i assume mine can be done from this, as it has been shown.

One flaw that can not be stemmed from blood relations would be a fear of abandonment, this would involve discussing feelings at great depth and that would be as easy for me as solving the most complicated of algebra problems as i can't really understand anything about what happened to me; it can be understood as just basically loosing my closest friend then finding myself in uncharted waters not having one person to confide my life upon as they chose someone else.
So pretty much from then on i've been searching for someone whom i can mould to be that missing link in my life. I 've always wanted more than anything just someone to be with me no matter what, at all times, and not run when i get stressed out or annoyed, someone who i can just talk to whenever, and always be able to count on to be there just for me.
i can't be entirely sure if i have found this, my current friends are more than i deserve as they are just plain wonderful but i suppose my constant search for someone to be my number one makes me yearn for a boyfriend or just someone to adopt as a 'best' friend.
They tell eachother everything.
Even feelings.
And although i ardently adore my friends to no end, i still haven't managed to throw myself over the hurdle of comfortably talking about feelings and they haven't found themselves being able to trust me implicitly, i used to think.
secrets could be used to gain trust on my quest to find a friend, but i realised after a long period of time they are to be held and kept and i find myself much better at not saying anything about things.

i congratulate myself when i successfully manage to not say anything about certain things in my life.
i congratulate myself when i don't tell everyone i know if something happens in my life i feel to be significant.
i congratulate myself when i keep my opinion to myself and don't say it out loud in case it hurts someone or annoys them.

i'm finding myself more and more as i grow up how little i want to be like my parents, especially my mother.
perhaps someone could tell me any other obvious flaws.
i think my fatal one is i can't make my mind up, i don't know what i want, and i spend so much time mulling over all oppurtunities that are gone, the 'what ifs' and i'm alone.

wow i do go on far too much don't i!